Undone Ethics

There is ... plenty 
in this life I'm CERTAIN I've fallen short of 

I'm in a constant action 
of stretchin' and contractin' 
I'm rubber bandin' 
myself around an often too unattainable attempt at morality. 

based in a rooted shaming 
ingredients naming 

One part brimstone & fire 
Old Testament torment / insatiable desire
an endless torrent 
so sodom and gammora 
I desecrate myself abhorrent 
and the wreckage 
on the gospel. 

I'm 2 parts hostage 
with a hint of Stockholm. 
I've chosen every captor I've ever known 

often with the belief that the power of my own LOVE 
could HEAL my predator think we BOTH are enough. 

Tonight ... 
I whirling dervish myself around the details of my dilemma
systemic & steeped in outdated moral construct 

WHY should I be ethical in whom I choose to love ... 
when all my RIGHTEOUS LOVE 
has only served to HARM ME?