My Exodus was abrupt.
We were Egypt embodied in a building of pyramids
that was both long suffering and almost mathematically impossible.
when we bent our angles JUST SO ... "US" was 9th Wonder.
Under fire & dire situation
we still built our foundation
both vertical and across horizons
and I've been
tally marks on my heart
marking the days I've been away.
You chose to stay while I pressed forward,
all the while looking behind me
hopin' to see your silhouette on the horizon
you never realizin' / it was YOU who pushed me out.
Banished by your actions -
fractions and subtractions
and no matter how sound the math is
I couldn't solve the equation
of keeping both you AND my self worth.
I could never decipher which comes first,
and much like integers
I never really understood dealing with the negatives.
So I inflicted my own Exodus,
both defeated & abrupt.
But my footsteps were never at a loss for love.
And my gate was always dragging
short width and lacking
my normal humming bird stride.
I kept waiting for you to join my side -
so that we could exit Egypt together
to build measured mountains and miracles
in a place that didn't so much remind us of pain
and didn't so much call for blame
or accountability to destruction.
Construction .... delayed.
That life would never take place.
I stood on the banks of my own Red Sea
I fell to my knees and screamed
"Let my people go" ...
I never once supposed
I would have to exit Egypt alone.