soldier song

I set forth to write a song for you
Something that would see you through; keep faith afoot and perseverance in your lungs
…and when you’d exhale during the difficult part of your journey
Your labored breath would sound like hope
And song.


I dug deep … to the natural rhythm of my feet, and the sway in my hip
I looked for song in the nod of my head and the purse of my lips
Lyrics licked / like envelopes
I had hoped
To recount my own downward slopes and find the fuel
And tools
Necessary to compose your song …


but I’ve been singing too long.
hymnals … spirituals … and heart break anthems;
A triathlon of songs - pantin’
“I will survive” and “lord I’m coming ” –
the repetitive humming Creates a familiar buzz
no more noticeable than the whiiiiirrrrrrr of our computers. Whereas; once
A song
Could inspire nations to part seas, virgins to part knees, and the suffocated to breathe
But if you have been singing for survival every mile of the way
The melody starts to lose its taste


The over chewed cud – of we shall over come … begins to wear away at the tongue
I’ve sung
So many songs of survival
That my recant would nothing more than minimize your trial
My off key out of tune / is no redemption song for your doom
And soon
I started to feel that singing you lovely lullabies
Was a far cry / from what you needed.

Composer defeated …
I whispered “retreat” … and
somehow found no shame in it.


Once upon a time we were soldiers
And we were sold this
Idea that retreat was delayed defeat – and that rest was for the wicked – and a moment to cease…
And peace
Was only afforded to the weak.
Speak nothing wars and worlds of warriors and “rest” … in the same breath


Slave masters and over lords spun such webs … and we
We tricked our souls with songs of salvation
In order to fulfill unreal expectations.

There are no symphonies here.
No chorus that would trick the ear … or harmony to harp the heart.
Notes as sharp as spears, fallacy of falsetto
Tenor of thy tears, allow your vibrato to settle


And silence your song.
Retreat
and I will sing along in your silence to the chorus of only breathing the notes…

And somehow

The exhale will still

Sound like hope.