With upheaval and change, inevitably comes introspection.
There are moments where our pain creates in us new perspective. I have been asking myself lately
"WHO the hell do you think you are?"
I find myself clinging to only the things I know for sure.
I have held in my hand my societal caste, made a wish, and blew it into the wind.
I begin to summon all I know of ethos, pathos, and logos ... and I suppose ... all that we are, all we are made of ... is only precisely what WE decide it is.
And in this ... I started a list.
When in doubt, I list it out.
and friends, I most certainly am IN doubt. If "doubt" were a location, right now ... it'd be Hotel California, because at this point I feel like I can check out anytime I like, but I can never leave.
But I also acknowledge: we ARE what we believe, and so I seek to aleve all this doubt with what I'm sure I know.
Of my short list of the things I love, it went something like this:
family
food (yes, food is second. don't judge me)
music
dancing
literature
painting
performing
Tonight I am excited to say, I will be taking the first class of many "Intro to Ballet"
As a young girl I longed to be a dancer. My mother once took me to a ballet class ... ONCE.
If you will, image me - a pot bellied, ruddy red cheaked lil' girl with a black leotard & white tights. I was OVER THE MOON to be there, and devastated and we didn't return.
Throughout the years I found my way back to dance, whether it was with the high school drill team, talent shows, or even on the stage with Go-go dancers at the night clubs I emcee'd at. If any of you have seen me dance, I'm sure you can tell - in THAT moment- I am a happy girl (potbelly not withstanding)
For the first time, in a long time, I have butterflies.
"If you can walk you can dance, if you can talk you can sing"
damn right.
